Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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