Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No subtext here. People are naked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
