I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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