Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
