I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
