I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
