Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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