i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
