No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
