My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
