He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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