Will you blow on my dice?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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