she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
