Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize