She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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