this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
