bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize