So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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