i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So squirting runs in the family.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
