I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
