im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize