I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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