I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
