Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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