how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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