six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she peed on how many people?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
