You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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