I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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