We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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