we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
