Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
