Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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