I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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