Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
