i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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