I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
