come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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