How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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