His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
