Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I CAN MOONWALK!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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