All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
