I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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