i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I will pee on everything he values.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
