How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
