Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
