yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
MIDGETS
????
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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