I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
