clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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