THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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