Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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