I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
