Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?