I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n