sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.