I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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