You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
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Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
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