My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
