He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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