she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
