I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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