you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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