you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
